Book Review
Title: Elena Vanishing
Author: Elena Dunkle & Clare B. Dunkle
Genre: Memoir
Rating: *****
Review: I didn’t know much going into Elena Vanishing other than it was a slightly fictionalized memoir written by Elena and her mother following Elena’s battle with anorexia. I have read a few novels are ED conditions but not a memoir. The book opens with Elena in a German hospital being treated for her condition despite the fact she feels that there is nothing wrong with her but after arguing with the doctors, they decide she should be treated in the US when means leaving Germany, her school, her friends and the freedom she has come to love. Over the next couple of months, Elena is moving for the German hospital to a US treatment centre as she is continuing to lose weight. The US centre isn’t helping either as Elena sees it as forced imprisonment rather than treatment as she doesn’t feel there is anything wrong with. Her mother decides to contact a doctor who treated her sister Valerie for depression and self-harm and blame is placed on the parents when they have done nothing wrong.
When her parents take on her treatment while consulting doctors Elena sees an opportunity to slip back into old habits, but she has to be careful not to get caught again. However, she has a strained relationship with her mother because of it and her relationship with her sister is non-existent as Elena literally says that her sister is dead to her but her life continues without any major progress but there are moments where she thinks that this way of living isn’t right, and she needs to get better. Elena’s thought process and anxiety doesn’t help with her treatment at all, but no one seems to realise that she is no making any improvement as they trust what she is telling them.
As Elena finishes high school and starts college she is held back when she admits she has an eating disorder. It stops her from becoming an Air Force Nurse as she is underweight, and it stops her from becoming a role model despite her impressive academic record. During this time her sister is getting married and having a baby which puts even more strain on the family dynamics which adds to Elena’s illness. However, Elena’s body is betraying her as she eats fast food followed by a lot of purging in order to stay beautiful.
As we cross into the halfway mark in the novel, I was feeling really sorry for Elena who can’t seem to overcome the voices in her head telling her everything that she doesn’t need to hear at this moment in time. Despite hospitalization, treatment centres and her parent’s support nothing really seems to be motivating Elena to get better but we are reminded of the fact you can’t help someone if they don’t want to be helped.
Elena is such an interesting character and as someone who has family and friends who have dealt with ED conditions, she is a true reflection of what it is like inside the head of someone suffering from an eating disorder. Elena’s battle with her emotions does lead to some resentment towards her sister who is heavily pregnant but when baby Gamma is born Elena wants to be a good role model for her and decides to go into a treatment centre again.
Having such an up and down relationship with treatment centres doesn’t bode well for Elena but she does try but finds it very difficult to eat. While other girls have all manner of feeding tubes Elena can’t have one because her gag reflex is so sensitive due to purging and her insurance won’t cover a feeding tube that goes directly into the stomach. It is clear to see that a lot of Elena’s issues with food step from the fact she suffered a sexual assault despite her protests to the contrary. Elena’s parents are always present although they are completely subbed when they learn about the sexual assault and the miscarriage that Elena has kept well hidden from everyone.
After months of treatment, Elena has had enough as she doesn’t think she is getting better, and her mother is at the end of her rope as well. They go home where Elena is quick to fall back into old patterns, but her family is having a hard time coping especially her father who regularly breaks down thinking one day he is going to find Elena dead. After a huge argument, Elena thinks about the point in her life when everything changed and finally admits that she wants to get better as she has seen so many girls around her die because of their illness and she doesn’t want to be one of them.
As we cross into the final section of the book, Elena signs herself back into treatment for what I assume is going to be the final time in the book. Trying treatment again is a risky move but Elena seems to be making progress. However, through her doctors, we learn that with other patients Elena takes on a big sister role especially with those younger than her, but she has a major issue with female authority figures. This stems from her relationship with her mother, we know that Elena’s mother had cancer and was very sick when she was born, by the time she was well enough to be a part of Elena’s life Elena had already learned to cope with her mother and kept her at a distance her whole life which is why she has trouble trusting female doctors and nurses at the treatment centres.
The ending of Elena Vanishing was beautiful as we see this hurt and broken young woman take her first steps towards recovery and everything, she had been through I was so proud of Elena and if I ever got the chance to meet her, I would tell that. If you have a friend or family member suffering from an ED or you have one yourself then Elena Vanishing might just be able to provide done insight into what an ED really is and how deeply it can affect not only those living with it but everyone around them. Highly recommended.
Buy it here:
Paperback/Hardcover: amazon.co.uk amazon.com
Kindle Edition: amaozn.co.uk amazon.com
I received this review copy from Abrams & Chronicle
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