Book Review
Title: Fully Alive: Using Your Individuality to Conquer Addiction
Author: Michael J. Surdyka
Genre: Non-Fiction/Self-Help
Rating: ****
Review: When the author of Fully Alive reached out to me to review his book, I was torn. I don’t normally read non-fiction but this sounded really interesting. Much like my other non-fiction reviews, this is going to be short and to the point as I will be detailing my thoughts during the reading experience and whether I think this book has any practical value. From the introduction and preface alone, I was able to tell that this was going to be a great book. Unlike most self-help where the author makes you feel that they are better than you, Surdyka makes you feel like he has been actually where you are as he has struggled with addiction himself. He also details the reasons why traditional methods for coping with addiction don’t work and how his book works and what it can do to help you. I really appreciated how Surdyka pointed out that many of the treatments for addiction are generalized and in order for treatment and recovery to be long-lasting and effective, it needs to be personalised as everyone has different motivations for wanting to beat their addiction and they have different root causes for their addiction which need to be focused on and that can’t happen with traditional methods.
Part 1 of this book is all about building a rock-solid foundation in order to begin to recovery process. One of the first points Surdyka makes is that the majority of people in addiction recovery will relapse in their first year and this is completely normal as you try to adjust you way of living to meet the desire to quit. However, he makes the point that many of the treatments available make it seem like long-term sobriety is impossible or that only a few can achieve it which puts people in a defeatist mindset before they have really begun their recovery process. The first step in beating addiction according to Surdyka is having the desire to want to change, but not because someone else is forcing you but because you genuinely want to be free of addiction. If this is the case then you are ready to take more steps but if you don’t have that desire to change completely then you are almost guaranteed to fail because you aren’t going to be put everything into your recovery. I really liked the simple yet effective worksheets that are in the book as I can see them genuinely helping someone come to terms with wanting to beat their addiction and taking the first steps to achieving that. In these first couple of chapters Surdyka details what you need to do in order to prepare for quitting and the first steps in doing just that. He also includes helpfully information like detoxing for different substances, how long it takes and whether or not medical assistance is required. He also gives some really sound advice like how the first month after detoxing is good to be the hardest but if you can get through that then you are well on your way to recovering.
The next chapter really focuses on self-reflection, finding out why and when the addiction started, what were the roots causes and identifying any relapse triggers. This is a major thing as relapse is so common and Surdyka even gives us a list of the most common relapse triggers so they can be avoided. He goes on to explain how some small and seemingly insignificant things can be the hardest triggers to overcome but once we are aware of them, we can make the conscience decision to avoid them in addition to making the choice not to indulge our cravings. We also get the stories of other addicts and their recovery stories here which might be extremely helpful to people in similar situations proving that recovery is possible if you work hard enough for it. Surdyka also reinforces the idea of good food, exercise and mental health in order to achieve the right mindset and maintain throughout the recovery process which is something I don’t see in self-help books often. He even goes as far as saying that if the addiction was caused by or triggered by mental health issues then they should be dealt with first before attempting the recovery process. He also makes it very clear that the recovery process shouldn’t feel like a chore and that you should enjoy the lifestyle changes you are making in order to further maintain the right mindset. Surdyka also stresses the importance of spirituality and at first, I was put off as I thought it meant religion and as an atheist it didn’t sit well with me. However, Surdyka goes on to explain the difference between spirituality and religion and how one or both can be extremely helpful during the recovery process. I do agree with the statements he made on the distinction and I actually realised here, I do believe in a higher power as I like stargazing and while doing that you do feel as though you are a very small part of something far larger without it having a religion connotations.
The final cornerstone Surdyka talks about in part 1 is making new friends and healthy hobbies. Now, while I agree with everything, he said in regard to healthy hobbies as it allows you to move away consciously and subconsciously from compulsive and addictive behaviour to ones that will suit you better in the recovery process, I didn’t agree with what he said about friends. Let me explain, in theory cutting out all the negative people from that time in your life i.e., other addicts, enablers is a good thing to do but it isn’t so good in practice. Take me for example, I have social anxiety and autism so I struggle with making friends, therefore, I tend to have a very small group of extremely close friends. If I was an addict and my group of friends were too and I was trying to get sober, I wouldn’t be able to get them all out because I know my personality would dictate that I wouldn’t make new friends easily and I would tend to gravitate towards the same kind of people which means I would either have to take the risk of having friends that aren’t trying to get sober or be alone during my journey and I personally think that trying to do something as difficult as getting sober alone, is more detrimental to your mental health and the success of that journey than having a few friends that are addicts. That being said you would have to be constantly aware of the negative behaviours, mindsets and patterns and actively and consciously choose not to follow them even when temptation is at its highest.
Part 2 of the book is going to focus on staying sober now you have achieved it and defending against relapse. In the first chapter of Part 2, Surdyka discusses the importance of an accountability partner and what their role is during your recovery and how they are different from a sponsor which was really interesting to read about and helped me gain more insight into the sheer amount of work, people need to do in order to gain and maintain sobriety. Surdyka also explains what the twelve step meetings are including AA, and NA and how they can be beneficial to someone just entering recovery but he also details some of the drawbacks of these groups but from what I can see and the accounts from real people there are more pros than cons to these meetings. Also having some real insight into the meetings made me question the way I have seen them portrayed as sullen and depressing places when they are anything but that according to the author and the testimonials from people who have been going to meetings for years. Surdyka discusses in-depth about Dual Diagnosis which is someone who has a psychiatric disorder AND an addiction which makes treatment a lot harder as the mental disorders need to be resolved first and depending on where you live this can cost a lot of money and take a long time but it is worth it in the long run. He also discusses rehab in a lot of depth as there are a lot of misconceptions about rehabs. Surdyka explains the different types of rehab programmes and why the might benefit you and how to find and contact rehab clinic should you need one which was very useful as it doesn’t just apply to the US. This obviously leads us to the chapter focusing on relapse which for most is something that is bound to have over the course of their recovery.
In the final few chapters Surdyka discusses the mentality surrounding relapse, the differences between slips and a relapse and what to do in both situations. In terms of the content, I found this to be one of the most important chapters as Surdyka says himself that slips and relapse is something everyone in recovery has to face at least once over the course of their recovery and he provides tools and tricks in order to cope with them and maintain a steady course towards sobriety. Overall, I found Fully Alive to be a really interesting book to read even though I couldn’t identify with much of the content as it provides a keen insight into what recovery is like for addicts. While there were things I didn’t agree with in the book, it is a book I think could provide be very useful in the right hands. The part I liked most about the book was the interviews from people in recovery and I would have liked more of them because these interviews take this book from just being another self-help guide to something more personal and more human which I think a lot of people could identify with.
I received this copy for review consideration from the author.
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