Book Review
Title: Pageboy: A Memoir by Elliot Page
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 5 Stars
Pageboy is the memoir of Elliot Page, formerly Ellen Page, the star of movies like Juno. Now I don’t follow celebrities in the media closely but I understand there was always some controversy surrounding their identity and sexuality. It is told in a nonlinear format so it jumps around in time following the. Through their journey of discovery and becoming the person they are today.
For many like me, we grew up with Elliot in movies and personally Juno is one of my all-time favourites but I was unaware of the negative attention and backlash that Elliot was facing behind the scenes. During filming for Juno, they were forced to keep their girlfriend and sexuality a secret and was even forced to wear more feminine clothing to awards and similar events when their male counterparts didn’t fact the same criticism. Elliot goes deep into their childhood and how they knew they were trans from a young age but struggled to identify and name these feelings. However, as they enter their teenage years and started gaining some recognition in the acting world, they began to feel more and more out of place.
Being a memoir it doesn’t only focus on Elliot’s identity and sexuality but their life in general. Their parents divorced when they were only small so living in two different households was a normal thing but she is did have a strained relationship with her stepmother and step-siblings which only made their feelings of isolation and feeling like an outcast even worse. Elliot also discusses their first stalker and how this terrified them as a teen as they didn’t know how to react to these situations and when their father was informed his reaction only created more terror. Elliot found it easy to forgive the stalker who had a mental illness but forgiving their father for his reaction when they needed love and support was a lot harder.
Elliot goes on to talk about the Hollywood culture and how normalised it was for people to ask them to suppress their sexuality and gender identity as well as being sexually assaulted by both male and female people in the industry. While they don’t name these people some you are able to work out with enough research although I personally would have named and shamed them. Elliot also looks at their mental health during this time, which was awful, they were plagued by panic attack, insomnia and PTSD for their experiences personally and some of the movies they worked on. While I was aware that these things have happened in Hollywood and there are many stories hearing it in their own words was heartbreaking. I had the same feeling reading this as I did when I read I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy.
Elliot ends up diving deeper and deeper into their mental health during this time because it was going downhill, even after coming out in 2014. They still struggled with being uncomfortable in their own body and eating disorders which were becoming a major issues and starting to cause worry in those around Elliot. It wasn’t until their 30’s that they finally felt comfortable enough and strong enough to openly say to themselves that they were trans and begin seeking out treatment. During this Elliot also discusses their relationships which weren’t exactly healthy either because they weren’t out yet or because of their feelings of gender dysphoria.
By the time Elliot hit 30, they had seen some real progress in therapy, began gender affirming treatments and finally developed healthy relationships and friendships. This was a period of change but Elliot gained the strength to discuss issues that they had throughout their life with the people causing them. Some like their mother realise their errors and change for the better while some like their father distance themselves and become almost openly hostile towards Elliot which was difficult for them but they knew it was a good thing in the long run. Seeing how far Elliot has come throughout these years was both inspiring and heartbreaking and overall, it emotionally destroyed me in the same way Jennette McCurdy’s memoir did and I highly recommend it.
Buy it here:
Paperback/Hardcover: amazon.co.uk amazon.com
Kindle Edition: amazon.co.uk amazon.com
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