Book Review
Title: Real Life by Brandon Taylor
Genre: LGBT, Contemporary, Romance
Rating: 2 Stars
I didn’t know anything about this book before getting into it but the synopsis sounded interesting enough to make me pick it up. We are introduced to Wallace, who is currently studying biochemistry at graduate school. However, on this particular Friday it seems that his lab work was either contaminated or deliberately sabotaged meaning he doesn’t have any lab work as has decided to meet up with his friends by the lake. He is meeting four of his friend, Mille, Cole, Yngve and Vincent, Miller and Cole are a gay couple but as we can see Wallace seems jealous of them as he seems to be attracted to Miller but this isn’t confirmed. Wallace also have a difficult relationship with Vincent as some teasing in their early friendship went too far and now seems strained but there is almost a sexual tension between the pair so I can’t decide what is going on there yet. During this time the group discusses racism in their home states where they all argue that black people were often treated badly and Wallace agrees as a black man, thinking back on how there seems to be very few black students at the school. Wallace does seem to be both depressed and anxious and he is outlier of the group as he doesn’t contribute much to the conversation and just seems to be clinging to the fringes of the friend group.
As we approach the ¼ mark in the novel, another friend, Emma, her boyfriend and their dog join the group at the lake but there seems to be something with Wallace. Emma eventually manages to get him to tell her why he is upset and it is because his father recently died and he hasn’t told anyone. Wallace made the choice not to go to the funeral because of his workload and there seems to be bunch of unresolved trauma in this boy’s past but now he is feeling a huge amount of guilt over this decision. Naturally Emma tells the others and Wallace seems really uncomfortable with the attention and eventually decides to leave and Miller decides to go too. I misread somewhere as Miller and Cole aren’t a couple, in fact on the walk back to Wallace’s place Miller states repeatedly that he isn’t into guys. However, they do end back at Wallace’s apartment where Miller confesses that even though he isn’t into guys he wants to know what it would be like to kiss Wallace and he allows it. Things quickly escalate from there as they move into the bedroom and end up sleeping together but I have a feeling it could be more than that as Miller had a complicated relationship with his mother, similar to Wallace’s situation and when she was dying of cancer they had a chance to make amends in a way Wallace didn’t but he understands where Wallace is emotionally right now. Despite this Miller makes it clear that he enjoyed his time with Wallace and they could repeat it in the future if Wallace wants to. However, back at the lab he learns from a friend that another graduate student Dana deliberately sabotaged Wallace’s work and he can’t understand why. He reflects on the fact they have had a horrible relationship from the moment they met but Wallace sees Dana as gifted and the only reason he can come up with for her destroying his work is spite and nothing more but I have a feeling Wallace downplays his own abilities as he is shown to superior to Dana in many ways in the lab, he is just painfully shy.
As we cross the ¼ mark in the novel, Wallace contemplates his new relationship with Miller as he likes the things he and Miller do together but sometimes it feels like he doesn’t actually like Miller which was more than a little confusing but they are keeping their relationship a secret for now especially since they haven’t put a label on anything yet. While Wallace is contemplating Miller, we begin to understand his trauma it seems his parents were neglectful and maybe alcoholics too, when he was young they let a friend live with them because he had nowhere else to go and he took advantage of Wallace sexually and his parents didn’t do anything about it. Wallace obviously has a lot of pent up anger because of these issues and it makes it difficult for him to interact with others. However, during this section of the novel we get to see a confrontation between Wallace and Dana. While Wallace says that he doesn’t believe the rumours about her destroying his work she confirms them stating that she did because she felt that he had too much privilege because he is both gay and black which Wallace knows isn’t the case. She ends up saying some pretty horrible things and Wallace verbally lashes out at her before leaving which only makes Dana angrier but as he passes Miller’s lab he notices something is up and takes Wallace aside to talk about it. Miller is proving himself to be a very kind and understanding young man when it comes to Wallace and even when he says hurtful things or lashes out Miller takes it in his stride because he knows that Wallace doesn’t actually mean it but he has no other way of processing these emotions.
As we approach the halfway mark in the novel, I was loving the characters and their individual and collective storylines but I was wondering where the actual plot was going to come in. For a while we just follow Wallace as he thinks about his relationship with his parents, his up brining and this new potential relationship with Miller. I did misread earlier in the novel as Cole and Miller weren’t a couple but Cole and Vincent are and they have been together for seven years. Although over their regular tennis match, Cole confesses to Wallace that he discovered that Vincent was on a gay dating app. Cole explains to Wallace that Vincent’s friend Roman, a French man in an open relationship once mentioned to Vincent in front of Cole that there was nothing better than watching your partner in bed with someone else. This sparked something in Vincent but Cole isn’t open to the idea at all and this caused problems but they soon worked through them. However, they have made a reappearance as Vincent feels like Cole spends more time at work and in the lab that he does with his boyfriend and Vincent wants something more from the relationship that Cole might not be willing to give. I did find it interesting that Cole and Wallace almost became a couple but I don’t think they would have worked and it is Wallace who Cole turns to when he needs advice or help. He pleads with Wallace to come to their dinner party that night for moral support and he agrees even though he is anxious about the fact that Yngve is trying to set Miller up with a girl. However, by the time he arrives at the party, these worries are laid to rest and he gets a chance to speak with Miller privately. Although during the dinner party, Roman makes some really racist comments to Wallace about how he has deficiencies that would prevent him from getting a good with his graduate program and he should be grateful for even getting on the program which no one says anything about and Wallace is angry that he will be the only ones to remember these comments in the following days.
As we cross into the second half of the novel, Wallace after Roman’s racist comments decides to help Cole out by claiming that he saw Vincent on the dating app. In the aftermath it comes out that Vincent has already slept with Romance which causes an absolute meltdown and Wallace feels horrible. IN the garden when things have calmed down a little Roman once again approaches Wallace and claims that he is covering for Cole but that might now matter since Emma tells Wallace that Cole and Vincent left together a while ago. I am firmly set on the idea that Wallace has an eating disorder as he vomits after binging on the dinner and Miller offers to let him lay down in his room which Wallace accepts. They stay there for a while just talking and comforting each other as Wallace vents his frustration at no one defending him against Roman’s comments. Miller here claims he wants to know Wallace better despite Wallace’s protests he soon caves a begins telling Miller about the variety of sexual abuse he suffered as a young child along with the physical abuse and racist comments made about him on almost a daily basis before they fall asleep. When he wakes, Miller isn’t in bed with him which does hurt Wallace but he accepts it as it was a lot of information for Miller to take him. He ends up sitting in the kitchen with Miller and Yngve discussing the events of the evening which has been horrendous to say the least but I don’t have a clue where the novel is going from here although I do want to see if Cole and Miller make their relationship official and tell their friends about it and if Vincent and Cole can repair their relationship after everything that has come to light this evening.
As we approach the ¾ mark in the novel, Wallace learns that Miller has a past as well as he learns that he almost beat a boy to death when he was younger and Wallace can see that anger always lurking beneath the surface. After Yngve goes to bed and they are left alone, Wallace begins pushing the boundaries until Miller has him pinned on the floor. Wallace isn’t necessarily afraid of Miller but there is something that puts a distance between them now. He slips out of Miller’s house in the early hours of the morning to return home which upsets Miller and we can see Wallace trying to put some distance between them but gives in when they are all supposed to meeting for brunch. During this brunch we can see the dynamics of the group have been changed over the course of the weekend but it is Vincent who addresses it by calling Wallace out on what he did over dinner and Wallace admits he went about it in the wrong way but he wasn’t wrong to do it because Vincent’s actions were hurting Cole. Miller wants to see Wallace that night as he isn’t going boating with the rest of them but he is unsure about it but ultimately tells Miller he will call if he wants him to come over which he accepts. He ends up returning to the lab where he gets in a confrontation with Katie, who wants him to work faster and harder but Wallace is doing is best. He is then called in as Dana has written to their supervisor calling he is a misogynist which he isn’t but she basically explains that he either needs to drastically change his attitude and think about what he really wants or to leave. This is a dilemma for Wallace as he isn’t sure what he wants right now and spends the day thinking about it. Ultimately he does call Miller but when he arrives drunk, his personality is different and Wallace immediately senses the danger in this as he has grown up around violence to the point he can anticipate it.
As we cross into the final section of the novel, we get to see Wallace change and become more honest with the world and this changes his relationship with Miller as well. Honestly, while I appreciate Wallace’s struggles and the things he goes through and I didn’t really get the point of the novel. It honestly felt like we were drifting through the book with nothing to anchor us to the characters or their experiences no matter how exciting the author tried to make them. I believe that this novel would have been 100 time better if the author had picked a single aspect as it many plot point, something like the racist elements and how those affected the characters and what was done about or dealing with trauma which is something that Miller and Wallace shared in common and how they dealt with those but these were only briefly touched upon and the final dynamic shift in Miller and Wallace’s relationship left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. While some would really enjoy Real Life overall it just wasn’t for me.
Buy it here:
Paperback/Hardcover: amazon.co.uk amazon.com
Kindle Edition: amazon.co.uk amazon.com
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