Book Review
Title: The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
Author: Drew Hayes
Genre: Fantasy/Paranormal/Satire
Rating: ****
Review: So, all we get from the synopsis is that this series follows Fred an accountant who has been turned into a vampire. We don’t learn much about Fred’ actual turning but his life hasn’t changed much since he became a vampire until he decides to go to his high school reunion. Everything is going pretty well until he sees Krystal, a girl who was outcast much like him and the closest thing he had to a friend at the time. However, soon after the lights go out and Fred witnesses someone gets killed by another creature and completely freaks out, but he also finds out Krystal works for an agency that hunts down rogue creature including vampires and needlessly so says he gets the hell out of there.
Fred has to show off his vampire abilities in order to survive the werewolves that have been hunting them all night, however, it doesn’t matter as even though his plan backfires he does end up scoring a date with Krystal which turns out to be the highlight of his existence so far. At this point in the novel, I was really enjoying Fred matter-of-fact and satirical voice and some of the stuff he comes out with is hilarious. Despite not being much of a reader when it comes to humorous or satirical books I was really enjoying this.
So this isn’t really a full novel but a series of episodes following different creatures and Fred from what I can tell, episode 1 followed werewolves, episode 2 is entitled Zombies at the LARP so I can only guess what creatures are going to be mentioned in this episode. Krystal and Freddy have struck up a sort of relationship and she even takes him out on some of her mission, this one seems to involve a LARP event and a mention of something vaguely zombie-like. For those of you who don’t know what a LARP is it’s a Live Action Role Playing game in which Fred is now playing and for the next few chapters it covers the game which wasn’t that interesting until Fred is captured in a spell meaning he isn’t the only supernatural being there and things are going to get a little bit more interesting now. The ending of this episode was good, but I didn’t enjoy it nearly as much as the first episode and while I refer to these sections as episode they are slightly connected to one another through Krystal and Freddy.
Episode 3 is entitled A Weresteed at the Slots, for this Krystal, Freddy and his new undead assistant Albert are heading to Vegas to help a friend of Krystal who is having issues with dracolings; a race descended from dragons who basically own Las Vegas. We obviously know by this point it doesn’t matter if Krystal says it is going to be easy as it never is. I was pleased to see though that this duo has become a trio of a human, a vampire and a zombie. The Weresteed happens to be Krystal’s friend Bubba who owes a massive debt to the dracolings and when Krystal realises, she can do nothing to help him she challenges the dracolings for control of Bubba’s debt. However, she loses the challenge and is now enslaved to the dracolings as well so Fred being Fred challenges the dracolings for control of both Krystal and Bubba. Fred’s challenge, however, isn’t going to be like Krystal’s as he is male and a vampire, so he is considered a warrior although he is anything but a warrior. The conclusion of this episode was a favourite of mine as well get to see some of Fred’s vampire skills at work as he becomes more comfortable with what he is and used it to the best effect. We also get a little diversity in the fact that Bubba is gay and apparently has a crush on Fred, which he takes surprisingly well. Albert also plays the largest role in this episode since his introduction which was nice as we get some character development for him as well.
Episode 4 is entitled A Mage at the Park which sounds suspiciously similar to Zombie at the LARP as there was a mage in that episode as well. It seems I was right as Neil makes a reappearance but for help, this time as his mentor Amy has been kidnapped but with Krystal away for work, it is up to the boys to sort this one out. Neil is also virtually useless as he can’t use his power unless he is in close proximity to Amy. The gang does find some help in the form of Richard who is essentially the weremayor and his daughter is very close to Amy. Together they manage to learn that it must have been another mage who kidnapped Amy and a strong one at that. While the end of this episode is played off as a joke it is clear to see the purpose of this episode was character development for existing characters and to introduce some new characters we haven’t seen before.
Episode 5 is entitled A Monster in the Pews and I was a little sceptical about this as I loved episode 1 and 3 but episode 2 and 4 fell a little flat for me so this episode will determine whether I read the rest of the series. I won’t go into too many details about this final episode, but it really resorted my faith in the series with some new twists and turns and I will definitely be continuing on with it in the future.
Overall, I really liked Fred, Krystal and all the other characters and their banter is top class. However, the plot was good, to begin with, but fell a little flat in places. I would still recommend this book to those interested in paranormal fantasy and this book has some major twists that really keep you hooked.
Buy it here:
Paperback/Hardcover: amazon.co.uk amazon.com
Kindle Edition: amazon.co.uk amazon.com
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