Book Review
Title: Thirteen Ways to Kill Lulabelle Rock by Maud Woolf
Genre: Science Fiction, Dystopia, LGBT
Rating: 3 Stars
All I knew about this before going into it was it is a sci-fi set in a world where famous people can have clones of themselves called Portraits created and this is following a clone of Lulabelle Rock who has been ordered to kill all the other existing clones but things aren’t going to be easy. The opening introduces us to the thirteenth Portrait of Lulabelle Rock, an actress, only 20 minutes after she has been “born”. She talks with the true Lulabelle Rock about why she has been created which is to kill the other portraits of her in order to create interest around her and her new movies which is extremely shallow and I already dislike her as a character.
As we approach the ¼ mark in the novel, we get to see this new Portrait heading into Bubble City which is both very dystopian and futuristic at the same time. There she manages to dispatch two of the other Portraits she has been sent to kill. Neither of these deaths were overly dramatic or entertaining but this new clone has thought about her orders and wants to be kinder to the Portraits she is doing away with. At this point I wasn’t super invested int he story since the main characters doesn’t have that much of a personality and the executions aren’t really focused on, for example, she literally shot a Portrait at a bus stop before driving off, it lasted for only a sentence or two. The second had a bit more depth but was essentially Portrait enters shop and gets shot. If the rest of the book is like this I might have to DNF the book.
As we cross the ¼ mark in the novel, portrait number 13 is picking off the others but gets the sense that something isn’t right with them. One is a party version of Lulabelle as she has been forced to party with little sleep for months on end and is ready to face death making extra dramatic. However, the next two are different, one an artist is at peace with dying but 13 doesn’t want to kill and leaves saying she will return later. Another is the version of Lulabelle that never became an actress and married her childhood sweetheart but this one isn’t willing to die peacefully even going as far as attacking 13.
As we approach the halfway mark in the novel, there seems to be something completely off about the portraits in general. At first when they are new like 13 the seem like carbon copies of the person they are made to represent but others who have been around a long time seem to have develop their own personalities that are completely different to their original. This makes me think that the lifespan of a portrait is meant to be short otherwise they wake up and develop their own thoughts and ideas that would set them apart from their original. Despite this 13 doesn’t really seem to have any guilt about picking off other versions of Lulabelle that came before her. She is currently at 5 meaning there are eight more to go. That being said I don’t have any idea what is going to happen from here if it’s the same old, kill portrait and move on like it has been this is going to be a very disappointing read when stand-alone fantasy and science fiction is rare enough to begin with.
As we cross into the second half of the novel, things were getting more interesting as 13 is coming up against some portraits that have been around for close to a decade and are aware that she is coming for them. Some are eager to end it taking matters into their own hands while others fight her until the very end. 13 is also changing whether it is her conscious or gradually awakening to the idea that she is more than the purpose she was created for but it doesn’t really matter since she continues to do what she has been made to do. Despite this I was still unaware what the purpose of the book is and the romance between 13 and the artist made me gag since they are essentially the same person despite their differences from the original so I couldn’t get onboard with that. It would have been better for her to have a romance with Simon, the hitchhiker since at least he is a completely different person and doesn’t judge her either.
As we approach the ¾ mark in the novel, there were some more surreal elements being brought in like the idea of tarot and how the portraits play into their roles within the major arcana like 10 aka “Belle” being extremely strong as she is the Strength card and 13 being an assassin as the death card. Even so, I was still struggling to see the point of the book especially since there are only a few chapters left and 3 portraits remaining including the artist. Then there is the question of what is going to happen to 13, I honestly don’t think she is going to run away with the artist because it hasn’t been brought up at all and if she dies then there was no point to the book in general. While I am not excited about how the book is going to end I want to see what direction Woolf is going to take the book in.
As we cross into the final section of the novel, I definitely didn’t get the resolution I was hoping for but there was a twist at the end that I didn’t expect. Overall, Thirteen Ways to Kill Lulabelle Rock wasn’t my favourite novel but I didn’t hate it either. If you’re looking for a soft sci-fi with some interesting concepts that definitely check this one out but it wasn’t for me personally.
Buy it here:
Paperback/Hardcover: amazon.co.uk amazon.com
Kindle Edition: amazon.co.uk amazon.com
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